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- "The first drink and there was this: I belonged..." earlyrecoveryblog.com/2012/04/21/sto… 1 year ago
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Category Archives: what it was like
far
Before I went to rehab, I went to AA to hear people’s stories. I would listen to people who ended up homeless, all of their “yets” having by then transpired. They talked about shooting up under a bridge, selling themselves, … Continue reading
Posted in what it was like
Tagged AA, AA meetings, addiction, alcoholics, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, drinking, meeting, meetings, recovery, rehab, sober, sobriety, trauma
2 Comments
stopped working
The other day I heard someone say: “I didn’t come to AA because of the consequences. I came because the party was over.” Last night, at a meeting, the speaker said that her rock bottom wasn’t blacking out every night. … Continue reading
Posted in what it was like
Tagged AA, AA meetings, alcoholics, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, college, consequences, consequences of alcoholism, drinking, meeting, meetings, what it was like
1 Comment
DUI
I remember shoveling mud out of a drainage ditch in an elementary school in Pacifica. It was part of the Sheriff’s Work Program that followed DUI school. I remember not trying very hard. I remember parking near the sheriff station … Continue reading
is for
I made flyers for the blog: a photo and a URL and a quote. I thought I’d leave them at dedicated meeting places, maybe only outside my hometown. My friend suggested leaving them at bars. I said I didn’t want … Continue reading
Posted in travel, what it was like, what it's like now
Tagged blog philosophy, New York, meetings, putting recovery first, writing, alcoholism, addiction, SoHo, Alcoholics Anonymous, AA meetings
2 Comments
in between
One day last week, I was in the bathroom before a meeting. I washed my hands and fixed my hair. I saw myself and smiled. I got a rush of excitement. I was so glad to be there. That had … Continue reading
Posted in what it was like, what it's like now
Tagged meetings, third step, anxiety, alcoholism, addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous, spirituality, AA meetings, turning it over, doomed, childhood
3 Comments
something spiritual
I’m trying to say something about belonging. About what drinking did for me. About feeling tapped in to human experience. About not feeling alone. It’s about a buzz. About things making me laugh. About not caring. I want to talk … Continue reading
Posted in what it was like
Tagged alcoholism, recovery, addiction, Santigold, drinking, spirituality
1 Comment
anti-anxiety
In Blue Nights, Joan Didion writes: “Alcohol has its own well-known defects as a medication for depression but no one has ever suggested – ask any doctor – that it is not the most effective anti-anxiety agent yet known. “ … Continue reading
Posted in what it was like
Tagged literature, powerlessness, escaping, anxiety, depression, alcoholism, recovery, addiction, Joan Didion, Blue Nights, anti-anxiety
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daily maintenance
A speaker in a meeting the other day asked what we did for daily maintenance. I felt compelled to publish mine here for you. Every day, I intend to: meditate write about recovery talk about recovery go to a meeting … Continue reading
too high a bottom
Sometimes I feel like I had too high a bottom. I’ve heard people in meetings say this, too. I haven’t had a machete in one hand and shotgun on the counter next to me as I drank straight from a … Continue reading
Posted in what it was like, what it's like now
Tagged rehab, treatment, rock bottom, timeline, sponsor, alcoholism, recovery, addiction, DUI
3 Comments
