Category Archives: what it’s like now

year

Today I have one year sober. There was a time when I thought, without question, that this was impossible. There were other times when I didn’t think it would be this hard. I am grateful to be alive. I am … Continue reading

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in real life

On Wednesday, I will have had a year sober. It makes me anxious. Not for fear of relapse, though that’s there, but something else. I’m afraid I’m not doing it right. I still think I’m supposed to be someone else. … Continue reading

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only recover

I was driving home and listening to a pop song about abuse and the cycle of abuse. She says: “You never thought about anyone else, you just saw your pain, and now I cry in the middle of the night … Continue reading

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11 months

A couple days ago, I reached eleven months sober. A year is coming, and a dark thought occurs to me: a year would be enough. A year and I can relapse. And I can come back. There’s no part of … Continue reading

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etiquette

I have a lot of friends who are not alcoholics or who are not in recovery. Most of my friends are not. A lot of them ask me, or they did in the beginning, “Is the goal to drink in … Continue reading

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is for

I made flyers for the blog: a photo and a URL and a quote. I thought I’d leave them at dedicated meeting places, maybe only outside my hometown. My friend suggested leaving them at bars. I said I didn’t want … Continue reading

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in between

One day last week, I was in the bathroom before a meeting. I washed my hands and fixed my hair. I saw myself and smiled. I got a rush of excitement. I was so glad to be there. That had … Continue reading

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