Tag Archives: alcoholism

stopped working

The other day I heard someone say: “I didn’t come to AA because of the consequences.  I came because the party was over.” Last night, at a meeting, the speaker said that her rock bottom wasn’t blacking out every night. … Continue reading

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somewhere else

I will probably be posting about rehab a lot this month. I went in April. I asked my boyfriend to ask his therapist for recommendations and he suggested a program in Minnesota. That sounds so calm: I asked him. It … Continue reading

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year

Today I have one year sober. There was a time when I thought, without question, that this was impossible. There were other times when I didn’t think it would be this hard. I am grateful to be alive. I am … Continue reading

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in real life

On Wednesday, I will have had a year sober. It makes me anxious. Not for fear of relapse, though that’s there, but something else. I’m afraid I’m not doing it right. I still think I’m supposed to be someone else. … Continue reading

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only recover

I was driving home and listening to a pop song about abuse and the cycle of abuse. She says: “You never thought about anyone else, you just saw your pain, and now I cry in the middle of the night … Continue reading

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out

Last night, I went to a bar. I ordered a diet coke and the bartender said “One of those nights?” and I said “Yeah,” with a sigh, even though I didn’t really know what he meant. Even though it had … Continue reading

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11 months

A couple days ago, I reached eleven months sober. A year is coming, and a dark thought occurs to me: a year would be enough. A year and I can relapse. And I can come back. There’s no part of … Continue reading

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